aalreet lad

It was 10:30 on  Friday night and i had just slumped back in the car after putting in some fuel and grabbing a tin of cold beverage (non alcoholic) at wasn't very busy as yet so i was nice and relaxed.

My next job beeped over the datahead I was to pick up in blahblah street in 10 minutes time, i was only round the corner and decided that i would shoot on round hoping to get my punters out a bit early!!

My punter was out the in a flash i didn't even have time to put their call back threw.

Unfortunately this is where my problems began now i must confess i am not good with accents never have been  i even have trouble with folk who live anything more than 15 miles outside Belfast (culchies) so most misunderstandings are my fault.

 When the first words from the well groomed chap next to me where "aalreet lad" the first thought in my head was Shit he's a Geordie.

Now i don't have anything against the folks from Newcastle upon Tyne apart from there useless football team but good lord there accents are thick.

"Wahay haad on there's more lads te come leik" he said as i when to drive off. I managed this one quite quickly "stop there are more people coming" and sure enough after a few minutes wait the rest of his party arrived.

"ahm gannin te the lavitrey booza" 

I tried not to look confused figured that i would gamble and head for Laverys.

We where about half way to laverys when one of the blokes in the back piped up  " ah need the nettie"  i looked at him blankly.

"Git big fella is there anywhere wi can stop te use the nettie " Christ he was talkin to me!! instant panic set in i didn't want to look stupid like I didn't know what a nettie was!

So i said what any self respecting citizen of Belfast would have said i said "waaaaa"

The non anxious looking folks in the back seat where laughing, between chuckles one with thankfully a Northern Irish accent translated that his mate needed the loo preferably quickly as his head was starting to change to a very unattractive shade off purple.

Thankfully a local micky Ds was just round the corner and he didn't defecate the back of my cab!!

Nettie!!! I mean what the F**k use English at least give me a chance!!

Surely there's no worse accent than the Geordie accent?

BTD